Skunks and their smell

Late one evening,I was finishing up a few dishes in preparation for retiring for the evening.  It was all very Norman Rockwell with my sister letting our dogs out once more before bedtime. And then the idyllic evening was broken by her screaming, "SKUNK!"

We don’t live in the city, but we aren’t in the middle of nowhere either.  We have certainly smelled skunk before, just not quite this close.  All three dogs ran in the house, and we could tell right away which one had been trying to make friends with the striped kitty.  The white one with black spots and a yellow film on his nose.  Petey, my curious and over friendly Chihuahua had been hit square in the face with the most foul smelling substance you can imagine.  We could hardly get near to help him. 

We immediately tried to think of all those things we had heard that would take out the skunk smell.  First, we tried every kind of soap in the house with no relief.  All we got was a mad, wet and still stinky Chihuahua.

Then we thought of tomatoes.  We grabbed the only thing I had in the house made with tomatoes, a jar of spaghetti sauce.  We poured the entire jar on him and rubbed it deep into his fur, then rinsed him again with soap. No joy.  That didn’t fix the smell, but it did turn my white dog to a lovely shade of pink.

Finally on the list was vinegar.  An entire jug of white wine vinegar.  That did help some, he kind of smelled like a limburger cheese salad.  But worse. 

He slept in his crate in the garage.

The next morning I called the groomer and explained what had happened.  Thankfully she took the appointment and I dropped him off.  When I picked him up he smelled really good.  No more skunk smell.  I was amazed. 

Now, I had been told that there are two kinds of dogs.  Those that learn to avoid skunks, and those who will stink again. Knowing my Petey, I asked the groomer if I could buy this wonder skunk smell removal product commercially.  She smiled and said that there were a number of good products on the market, but she went the simpler route.  Feminine douche.

I stood there looking at her smiling face as it all started to make perfect sense.  No wonder he smells so fresh. I secretly vowed never to tell him.  Petey is gone now, but his lessons live on. I now keep some feminine douche in the house for emergencies.  One of my new dogs will someday encounter that striped kitty, and I’m ready.

Shout from the Rooftops

Now that I have a resume, what’s next? 

Network!  Do not let foolish pride keep you from getting tips on potential jobs.  Tell everyone you know that you are now unemployed and are looking for a job.  If they seem interested enough, tell them a short (30-second) sound bite about what you are looking for, and why you would be good at doing it. 

Don’t be shy. It’s time to (truthfully) toot your own horn.  Look at the summary of your brand new resume, and adapt it for conversation.  Both the summary and your sound bite should sell your qualifications without sounding like you are reading it from the page.  If they still seem interested, ask they may ask for your resume.  If they do not ask, just ask them nicely to let you know if they hear of anything in your “wish list”. Do not send them an unsolicited resume, as it will only grace the bottom of their recycle bin. 

When you meet prospective bosses, the first 30 seconds can make or break you.  Start out with the sound bite.  As with your resume, you should adapt your sound bite for the position and the company where you are applying.  Tell they prospective employer why you are better than the other 30 people he might have interviewed before you. 

Joining groups like LinkedIn is helpful to your search as it is an excellent way to network from your home, but nothing beats face-to-face encounters if you can make those happen by whatever (legal) means possible.  Don’t forget religious and fraternal groups as they are a surprising boost to the numbers of protective chance meetings. 

There are also several sites that you can create a search for the job and location you want, and save the search.  The site will email you every day with the results of that days search for your job.  It doesn’t hurt to continue your own job searching on the internet, but it’s a good place to start.

 Think outside the box.  There are more jobs beyond the wrapper.

The last bit of advice I have learned so far, is to start each workday as if you had a job.  Get up by 7.  Get dressed and have breakfast and go to your designated place to look for your dream job.

Then take the weekend to get a breather and get back to your family and friends. That’s your reward for “working” so hard for the week.

Suddenly, I need a Resume

Notice of Reduction in Force (Me)

I suppose I should have been more prepared.  I certainly wasn’t the first to go.  I would be joining a group of thousands (including my own brother) who had entered the world of the unemployed sudden, unexpectedly and against our will. 

But one moment I was sitting in a room full of people meeting about the week’s assignment, and the next, I staring down the barrel of unemployment.  Twelve thousand emotions and thoughts swirl together in my head as I tried to come to grips with what just happened and how I was going to get re-employed in time to save my house from foreclosure, and feed the three small furry mouths that depend on me.

So that very afternoon, I took the first steps on the road of ended my 20+ years of aerospace writing and stepped on the path to a new career.  I went to the Aersopace Transition Center and signed up. Now What?

So, what do I do best and how can I use it to make a living?

First, I signed up for unemployment.  You can do that online now so there is no standing in line for hours before talking to a person who wishes they were anywhere else.  Next, I took a resume writing seminar.  Apparently, all these years I had no idea how to write a resume.  When I read my version, it sounded like me. All the pieces were there, they were all accurate, and I AM a writer.  I thought it looked good. 

But unbeknownst to me, the rules had changed.  The order of the universe, and my resume, had to be updated.  In this new world, your resume may first have to go through an automated “sorter” that will toss any admission that doesn’t match the company’s criteria.  The problem with this approach is that the submission of many qualified people will never make it to the hands of a human being because they used the wrong words.

Tip Number 1: If you have what the posting asks for make sure you call it what the posting called it.  The sorter is checking for certain words that match the posting and anything different will never be seen by human eyes.  However, you shouldn’t just copy the posting and add it to your resume. Even if you make it the same color as the paper so the eye can’t pick it up, as admissions that match too perfectly will also be tossed.  These machines have figured out that angle.

If, by some miracle of God, your resume makes it past the mechanical dream shredder, then it will probably end up in the hands of an HR rep (or worse a preliminary screener who MAY have a high school diploma).  This person is not anymore acquainted with the position you are applying for than what is in the job posting.

Tip Number 2: A person reading your resume in a hurry will hold it between their hands, which will be placed on either side of the paper about halfway down.  This means that whatever you think will get you THIS job, needs to be placed on the top third of the page.  Not much room, so choose your words for maximum effect (Summary: Degreed blah-blah professional with extensive knowledge of the production of whatcha-callits.)

Next is years of experience.  I understood that you never say “over” however many years of experience, as it isn’t over your head.  You should say, “more than” however many years, right?  Well, grammatically maybe, but apparently there was a study done that said using symbols (@#&) brings focus to a particular point and slows down the rapid scanning of the content.

Tip Number 3: When noting years of experience, don’t use anything more than 10 years as it will age you (unless a position calls for more than 10 years), and use symbols. “Thing-a-ma-jig production manager with 10+ years of experience and a 100% weekly completion to order ratio over the last 3 years.”

Tip Number 4: It’s probably best to use a chronological list of your previous jobs and then bullet the experience within each job that applies to the job you are applying for. The chronology is something that an employer is comfortable seeing, and the bullets (like other symbols) direct the readers’ eye to your experience.

That is what I have learned so far.  Hopefully these small changes will get me a fabulous new job.